is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize