There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
