i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
