hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize