Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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