Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize