well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
