Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
