just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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