piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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