So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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