I seem to have left my pride at pride
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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