it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
two words...techno handjob
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
