i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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