I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
