sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
