that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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