Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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