This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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