Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
