They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
do nipples grow back?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
