If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize