Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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