How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There are leaves in my underwear?
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