I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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