is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize