adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
