I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
