Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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