piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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