You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
