I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
