this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
