so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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