So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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