Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
