i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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