Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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