Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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