eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
