yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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