what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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