Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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