i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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