Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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