Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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