Midget sex pt 2 tonight
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
