god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
