never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
