ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
