I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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