he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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