life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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