I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
