forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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