There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
