PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
