She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
