remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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