I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
