I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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