At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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