ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
