haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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