He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
