He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
did i walk over a car last night?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
