if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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